The Evolution of the Taylor’s

Characters

Ivan Taylor – Eldest son, 10 years old
Joshua Taylor – The second eldest son, 9 years old
Natalie Taylor – The youngest daughter, 6 years old
Mr. Kurt Taylor – Father of the above
Mrs. Elizabeth Taylor – Mother of the above
Li’l Torres – A family friend of the kids, 7 years old
Lady Beatle – Torres’s mother and Family Friend of the Taylor’s
Lady Eleanor - Domestic Help of the Taylor’s

Mr. Taylor, a man of fine material, had a happy family and business. His wife, Elizabeth or ‘Woman of Grace’, was the chairperson of the town’s art house. They had three gorgeous children; Natalie was the youngest, she was a replica of a doll with big eyes. Ivan was the most mature of the children. Only, Joshua knew that he was the prodigal son. They were three apples in their parent’s eyes. They were never left alone without the eye of a parent or the caretaker. They were taught every rule in the etiquette book. The laws of being at the eating table, behavior in public or at the art house and every other discipline were inculcated in them. They were also very obedient by nature and they imbibed goodness with ease. The Taylor’s lived in an opulent bungalow which was made in romantic British architecture. Their residence was flanked by their fields. The Taylor’s had designed a wonderful environment for their beloved children. Wouldn’t be a day when the children were messily dressed. Not a crease on the boy’s shirts, not a single strand flying in the wrong direction on Natalie’s head. Lady Eleanor took good care of the children; she was about 35 at age. She had been around ever since and she was integral to the children. She did their laundry personally because she didn’t enjoy the wrath of Mrs. Elizabeth when the browns ran into the whites. It was almost like the Taylor’s had a white and brown color scheme for every garment and footwear they wore. They were a rich and an honestly respected family with each member symbolic of the ideal social creature. The Taylor’s believed in charity but that was always a clandestine affair with them. A layman couldn’t think it could get any better for a family, the consistent blush that ran on the cheeks of the Taylor’s screamed of prosperity.

Mr. Taylor was a classical pianist and he often found time to casually play to just his family and a handful of friends. So, the children grew up on occasional spurts of Chopin. The teachers used to come home and give them lessons and they were growing up to be quite intelligent. The parents believed in freedom and though they were almost fragile, the children were sent off to play alone in the fields, but a distant vigilant vision was always present. Garth, the pet Pomeranian was ubiquitous in hours of fun. The children loved the vast. The evening gold shining on their pink cheeks, the little six feet would play running games. Sometimes, their father would just stand far away and watch their mirth while smoking on his hash pipe. He could have been closer to them, while admiring his creation but smoking in front of them was not acceptable. He had quite a habit but he had never lost control of his mind even if he failed to balance himself. His wife was an occasional smoker and they loved the combined effect of old wine and hash while at their queer sex. Their children were simply innocent but had the blood to be spoilt.

The children were brought up in such a proud environment that they never got along with other children except Li’l Torres. He was the only son of Lady Beatle, who was a divorcee and a good friend of Mrs. Elizabeth. The children could do without Torres but it was not the same when reversed. Lady Beatle had lost her husband and her fortune in an unfortunate manner. The Duchess was reduced to a poor form staying in a cottage near the hills. Mrs. Elizabeth had been a very kind friend to her in the hour of every continual need. Ironically, they were not on a sole good term when Lady Beatle was still married to the Dutch of Verante. Nature had bestowed Mrs. Elizabeth with a fitting opportunity to enhance and flaunt her pride over Lady Beatle. And she made the most of it. The rich possess this kink. There was something that Lady Beatle was doing for the Taylor’s in return of occasional luxury which was quite hidden to society. The Taylor’s had some usual nasty affluent habits; from a plethora of them they preferred erotic roll plays. So, Lady Beatle would act as their sex maid or nurse and usually tripled the participants in all lust. Because Lady Beatle had a rich past, she was quite used to this herself, besides she was used to the kinks of Mr. Taylor. He was often the third party when Lady Beatle and Dutch Henry felt like. Of course, Mrs. Elizabeth was unaware of this long standing sexual comfort between Mr. Taylor and Lady Beatle. To imagine it wrongly, they must have felt like Mrs. Elizabeth is the outsider. The children were always put to sleep in their rooms when these orgies happened in the house.

It was Tuesday and Mr. Taylor was back in Verante after three weeks. He arrived on a four horse carriage, in usual plush fashion. The huge gates opened to the master of the house and ‘Woman of Grace’ was at the door of the bungalow waiting to receive him. Though, both had not been chaste in the last three weeks, they had a grave longing for each other. Mr. Taylor alighted from the carriage and passionately kissed Mrs. Elizabeth. Sometimes, they looked so loyal and in love. They entered the house and the kids were there standing in a disciplined line waiting to see their father or so they were told to. Garth parked himself as the fourth child next to Natalie; he could not stop wagging his tail. ‘Daddy’ screams began and it reminded us that discipline can not take away the sense of belonging and missing relatives. Also, they knew that when Daddy returns from his business trips, he brings gifts. All the gifts were wrapped in golden foils but Mr. Taylor had forgotten to personalize them. He was a little confused about which gift was for whom. Mr. Taylor didn’t miss anyone including Lady Eleanor who was gifted with a wonderful black evening gown. She was never overtly pleased about anything. Mrs. Elizabeth sent off everyone and Mr. Taylor removed two final gifts which were quite large boxes. “You are growing generous with age, Kurt”, said Lady Elizabeth after seeing two gifts. “In the end, it is for our pleasure sweetheart but the other one of these is a zipper suit for Lady Beatle. I’m guessing you have made the arrangements Liz.” Mrs. Elizabeth got closer to Mr. Taylor and initiated another kiss dripping with lust. “The children are going with Eleanor to the farm house at seven. Lady Beatle will be present but will not make an appearance till I cue her. I wish to surprise your senses tonight Kurt.” Their eyes were brimming of obsession. They were a queer pair, just like most of the affluent couples in Britain. They both didn’t care about who their partner was sleeping with while they were away. “I can’t hardly wait, Liz”, said Mr. Taylor, like a wrangler. Their sexual preferences were a concoction of males, females, both, many and little children. They protected their own children like silverware but were willing to erode other kids at the behest of satisfaction. 

The children opened their gifts in their room and Joshua was the only unhappy candidate. The children didn’t have any idea of what Josh was now holding in his hand. “Is this really for me? What is this?” “It must be a magic wand, Josh” said Natalie feeling it. It was actually a dildo for Mrs. Elizabeth that had fallen into Joshua’s hands. They decided to work some magic with it when they reach the farm house. Mrs. Elizabeth entered the room after a polite knock and in this while Joshua had put away the sex toy. Like a loving mother, she told them that they were going to the farm house at seven and this time they would not have their parents with them. This was a first that the children were being sent anywhere without either of the parent. She was toying with Natalie when she said, “I think its time the young Taylor’s went out on their first excursion without mommy or daddy. So, daddy and I have decided to send you’ll to the farm house. Eleanor will be there surely but you will have your freedom to do what you want. So, I want you’ll to absolutely enjoy this trip to the farm house and come and tell me about the greatest experience of being on your own.” She picked up Natalie in her lap, “I hope you won’t be scared without mommy, honey.” “I maybe, mom, but its alright, I have Ivan and Josh.” Joshua and Ivan were ecstatic about this. Ivan walked up to his mum and sister and said, “We will have a lot of fun Natalie, there’s nothing to be scared of, and anyway the farm house is hardly any further then a mile.” “Hmmm, I want you’ll to be brave kids and have fun, there is no question of returning once you’ll have reached. Is that clear, Ivan?” The son replied to the mother with an affirmative nod. Mrs. Elizabeth got up to leave the room, “Alright, I’m going to office and I won’t be in when you’ll leave so goodbye and I hope you’ll learn something new.” She kissed all her babies and left the room.

The clock struck 7 and the doors of the house opened. Lady Eleanor was with the children waiting for the ride to the farm house. The children were not over the moon about this trip because they had not argued to go here. Lady Eleanor was quite a laid back lady and she always seemed to be occupied in her own thoughts. The children had earlier traveled with Eleanor, but today they were in a different mood. Torres was waiting at the farm house when they arrived there. He ran to the carriage to receive them and shook hands with everyone with a wide grin. Lady Eleanor told them that she will be setting up the turkey dinner for the children and they should play in the premises while she is at it. The children began with playing hide and seek and Torres hid under the bed in one of the discretely located rooms. He had picked up the dildo in one of the rooms while finding a place to hide. He threw it on the bed in a rush of excitement to hide when he heard Ivan yell 10.

Mr. Taylor made a surprise visit to the farm house to meet Lady Eleanor about a missing gift. “I don’t think the children have it with them Sir, and isn’t it time for the occasion at home already?” “Eleanor, you know my habits, I can’t perform at such occasions without getting unnerved by you. I wouldn’t wish to suffer from a premature closure on such an awaited event.” They entered the discrete room in the corner of the farm house and Mr. Taylor seemed to be impatient. Eleanor latched the door, and shut the window in a rush. After she was satisfied that their act was hidden, she glared into his eyes and unzipped herself. She only thought that they were unwatched. He stripped Eleanor to nothing and spread her on the bed under which was Torres who lay there unmoved. “Oh, so you found this, I’m glad.” Mr. Taylor picked up the dildo from the bed. Torres could see the happenings from the mirror opposite the bed by sneaking his vision out from under the bed sheet. He heard and felt the vibrations from his position and he had no idea of what they were doing. But the human instinct and the rhythmically creaking bed made him feel aroused and he didn’t understand this feeling. Mr. Taylor was pumping hard in to Lady Eleanor but tried not to make a ruckus. He used the dildo at sudden times in random spots on her body. She would lick and suck at it and reiterated “Fuck me” “Fuck me harder Kurt” besides a lot of moaning. He devoured her, he never kissed her lips once and he was soon on his way out. These last ten minutes had left Torres rattled but he also got an idea that true education can shock. Lady Eleanor dressed her half naked body and returned to the turkey. She forgot the dildo back on the bed which Torres regained with better idea of its uses. 

Mr. Taylor didn’t notice the children while smoking a relieving hash pipe on his way out. Children are always amazed by something like this naturally. “What was Daddy doing?” said a shocked Natalie. Torres made his way out and Ivan yelled “There’s Torres, I’ve found everyone!” Torres closed in with this intense look on his face which the junior Taylor’s noticed but ignored. “I’m Bored now, what do we do?” asked Ivan. They began thinking which was interrupted by Joshua who decided that they should try doing what ‘Daddy’ was doing. “How do we do that? We don’t know how to play it” replied Torres. “Oh, so you saw that Torres. Well, I don’t think that’s quite a game. We’ll figure it out.” Torres thought that Joshua knew what he was saying and he played along as usual. They logically put together a plan to create ‘something’ that could make them exhale smoke. Ivan and Joshua were aware of smokers to a certain extent because they had done a lot of traveling with the family. They stole a matchbox from the kitchen, tore a paper from a notebook and lit it and Joshua decided to try it first. He inhaled the paper on fire and went in to a coughing rampage besides it was burning too fast. The others got scared and started moving away from Joshua. In his coughing spree, he managed to say “I think we need to put something inside the paper, Ivan, remember how the cigars we found in Uncle Fred’s drawers were.” “What can we put inside?” thought Ivan. Natalie and Torres were quietly going with what the elders tried. Torres was sliding his fingers on Natalie’s hands and he looked at her with intrigue. She seemed to be feeling something new but was paying attention to her brothers so she was not yet overwhelmed by this caressing. “Do you feel weird when I do this, Natalie?” She stole a glimpse of him and looked back at her brothers and said “No.” But she didn’t stop him from doing it and he continued exploring exotic spots on her body. An early lesson learnt, a new relationship begun.

They decided that they should put something that is inflammable after a short brain storming session. They tried to roll a leaf into a cigarette shaped craftwork and lit once again. Another failure led to further development and they decided that they need to discard the paper and use a leaf instead. While looking for leaves they decided that they will try putting grass inside the ‘Cigarette Craft’ because it is fine and inflammable. In the only defining co-incidence of their young years, they chose the marijuana plant. After plucking and also tasting it, the plant had spoken in person. Joshua’s thumbs up, after he had tasted marijuana gestured that this was their fuel for a rocket. They had a few twigs in the joint open palms of Joshua; they all analyzed it by touch while walking around. Natalie tasted a bit and made a bitter face but didn’t deny her accompaniment. The novelty of the plant faded and they realized that they need a leaf to wrap this in. Torres found a dry elm leaf and it was approved by the Taylor’s. They sat under a tree and indulged in rocket science and they were surely going higher soon. They rolled the grass in the elm leave but it kept falling from the other side and it kept opening up. Ivan put the compound in his mouth and he repulsively spat out some of the grass that went in his mouth from the leave’s open end. He was so disgusted with this that he decided to block one side of it. He stuck a small twig and taped the rolled leaf with his chewing gum. Natalie made a ewww face. Joshua lit it for his brother and Ivan inhaled it profusely but it resulted in just a trace of smoke releasing from Ivan’s nose. Ivan explained to the youth that he felt shrill in his nose and that the twig is blocking the smoke. Joshua randomly said “Let me try fixing this joint.” “What’s a ‘joint’ Josh?” “Yeah, why do you call it a joint Josh?” asked the brother and sister. He replied “Jint sounds geeky, so I thought I should contribute the first two letters of my name to this piece of craft. So it’s J and O from Joshua, I from Brother Ivan, N from Natalie and because ‘Join’ sounds shady so I added T from Torres.” Torres smiled to be part of the Taylor’s. He inherently quite was.

Now it was up to Joshua to get this rocket done. But just at the time, Lady Eleanor yelled from the kitchen window, “Children, dinner will be served in ten minutes.” They decided to return after dinner. Torres asked, “Ivan, aren’t we going to try doing what your daddy was doing.” “Wasn’t that what we were trying all evening Torry”, replied Joshua. “Oh! Well…. I’m a little confused here because I thought we were going to play what Lady Eleanor and Mr. Taylor were playing when he came in earlier.” “What were they playing Torres, a new game?” asked a visibly delighted Natalie who absolutely adored her father. “Well, looked like they quite enjoyed it and I think its called ‘fuck’ or something.” “Cool, we’ll try that out after dinner Torres; you show us how to play it.” They feasted on the turkey and the desserts were going to be served only later. The children were given the finger bowls to clean their hands and then cotton wads dipped in a medicine as usual.  Joshua observed the dry cotton stock and made a small ball out of it. He discreetly told Ivan that they should try and use cotton to block the joint on one side. So, after another burst of serendipity, the children went back to their invention. Lady Eleanor was tired and she sat down with a book waiting for the dessert to be cooked. Torres desperately wanted to play ‘fuck’, and he was trying all he could do with Natalie. His hands were progressing toward the forbidden spots. The rich brothers were indifferent to this act and resumed completing the joint. Joshua stuck the cotton ball inside one end of the rolled leaf and they secured this mixture with the chewing gum again. Natalie was staring in to Torres’ eyes while he fondled her. “Don’t let your hands wander any further Torres, I feel butterflies.” I don’t think he quite heard that. His hands were on her porcelain thighs under her little frock.

Another draft of the joint was ready. Joshua felt like a little scientist with his disheveled appearance after he had engrossed himself in this invention, or rather discovery. “I think it’s quite ready”, he displayed it in the moonlight to every member. Ivan struck the matches against the box and lit it for Joshua. Torres and Natalie also put aside their butterflies and got interested in what was to happen. Joshua made his debut drag and coughed and coughed. Ivan took the joint from him while he was in a bout of coughing and dragged on it tenderly. When he let out an iota of smoke, Josh saw it and his coughing almost disappeared. Natalie and Torres were equally amazed. “You have to go slow on this boys”, said the experienced Ivan. He took a couple of more drags and he did cough finally and passed the joint back to Joshua. Natalie and Torres watched it go past them and felt cheated. “You are way too young for this, sweethearts”, said Joshua with unarguable authority. He pulled in the air in another attempt and going by the instructions of Ivan, he succeeded. When he saw the smoke release, he felt great and superior. “I feel a tad little dizzy Josh, do you?” said Ivan. Joshua started coughing again after a couple of successful intakes. “No, not yet brother, do you suppose I’m ought to?” “Well, there has to be something to this smoking business, wouldn’t it be boring to just smoke and still feel absolutely the way we always do”, replied the intelligent Ivan. Joshua had almost seven drags of the joint by now. He passed it back to Ivan and crashed to the ground and sat there. Ivan temporarily refused the joint and gave it to Torres. “Here Torres, you try it.” Torres looked at Joshua who till now made it sound forbidden to him. On hearing no retaliation from Joshua, Torres tenderly slipped in some smoke in to his mouth. He coughed very hard and fell to the ground unable to balance himself. Natalie was freaked but she kept her patience, even Ivan got a little afraid and took the joint back from Torres fearing that Lady Eleanor would come out to see what happened.

Joshua was wasted and was stuck with one expression on his face. Torres gradually got over the coughing which tempted Ivan to go for the joint again which had stopped burning between his fingers. They lit it again and he smoked and coughed again but persevered. Time flew by and all the four were sitting in a row with their backs to a little vine wall. Torres had his face in Natalie’s hair and her eyes were shut in pleasure. Joshua and Ivan were out of their minds and they just stared into oblivion. They heard a call from Lady Eleanor and they suddenly were aware again after unintentionally ignoring the first three calls. They tried to look like they were up to no mischief and returned to the house where there were hot and sweet pastries waiting for them on the table. Lady Eleanor was getting the last plate out from the kitchen when Joshua and Ivan attacked two of the plates. They didn’t bother to wear a napkin or use the spoons and forks in discipline. Lady Eleanor was shocked at this sight and the two Taylor boys noticed her reaction and acted innocent. “Really hungry.” Eleanor handed spoons and forks to the boys and secured napkins around their necks. The sugar on the weed was hitting them hard. Natalie and Torres were getting desperate for them to be put to sleep so they could be together. It clocked ten and thirty and Lady Eleanor put the children in their room and considering their perfect behavior in the past, she put herself to bed in her room without a doubt of the occurred change.

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. 
~Anatole France

 

The lights were off and the children were wide awake. Torres was sleeping alone on the couch and the Taylor’s were on the bed. The moonlight came creeping from the window upon the faces of the beautiful. Natalie had her eyes shut but she was just trying hard to concentrate on how Torres had made her feel but in vain. Joshua and Ivan had their stoned faces looking at the fan. “Have you ever noticed these movements of the fan before, Ivan?” “Never Josh, this smoking business has made me so calm and thoughtful.” Joshua replied with a long ‘yeah’. Their eyes were blinking in stark comparison to the other four eyes in this confinement. Torres wanted to be next to Natalie and he was very uneasy, he kept moving all the time on the couch. “I’ve never been so tired and yet so wide awake, Josh.” “Truly brother, I remember the town’s sports day, I was so tired then and I just went off to sleep in the ride back home.” “How can you remember that Josh? I’m still trying to recollect what we were discussing just before this” “Yeah, I know what you’re saying brother. It was something like that brother.” “I don’t feel like lying down at all, I want to be out in the open, out in our fields Josh.” “Let’s go then, maybe if not the fields but at the least we can go outside.” “We can’t do that Josh, its past bedtime, we have never done that before, what could the consequences be?” “We have just smoked a joint brother, what could the consequence of that be?” After a pause of thought, Ivan agreed and they managed to get up. “I feel so much more dizzy now Josh.” “The outdoors will be better.” This was a miraculous occurrence for the love and touch starved Natalie and Torres. “Natalie sweetheart, me and Brother Ivan are going outside. Does this worry you?” “No, Josh, you go right ahead. I won’t be scared. Torres is here; please ask him to sleep on the bed.” Ivan woke up Torres and answered his dreams. The Taylor Brothers thought they had put the couple to bed and departed.

What occurred behind and outside closed doors was but natural. The brothers just relaxed and bonded, walking and stopping and admiring the difference in the way everything looked. Torres became a dedicated connoisseur of Natalie. They played with the dildo and each other. They kissed passionately. It’s unfathomable to explain the feeling of lust at this age. It must be far beyond overwhelming. “You want to play ‘fuck’?” “Oh yeah, I was just going to ask you about that, Daddy was playing it, even I want to, even I want to.” “It’s kind of weird Natalie, but I saw Mr. Taylor and Lady Eleanor play it. One of the rules is that we cannot have any clothes on.” Natalie felt extremely shy at this statement. She then got up from the bed and ran and locked the door and the window. Her speed was curious while she confined him and her. She then switched off the dim bulb. While she was prancing around in the room making this room an enclosure, a surprised Torres kept questioning. “Why you doing this, I don’t think it’s an illegal game, I mean Mr. Taylor and Lady Eleanor were playing it”, he paused and then remembered Lady Eleanor’s similar actions before the game. “How do you know that you are supposed to shut everything and Lady Eleanor never darkened the room.” She was an epitome of nervousness in her reply. “I feel shy Torres.” She then got closest she could to Torres and only through that one beam of moonlight that was leaking from the ventilator could Torres see her pretty eyes. She made a request, “Torres, I was feeling very strange when you touched me on my body today, I wish to feel it again, and can you make me feel exactly the same way?” “Surely Natalie, but I’d really love to know how you felt, so I’ll touch you like this and you touch me back.” He flew his fingers all over Natalie while he said this and she replied with a similar touch. The words were lost now. Adolescent feelings were talking aloud. Natalie was so lost in this emotion that she had stopped touching Torres. Her eyes were wide shut when Torres broke the silence, “Do you like it?” “Very much Torres, don’t stop doing this, I feel very tickled and I love it.” “Don’t you want to play the game?” “This is a lot of fun itself Torres, we’ll play the game after this.” He was trying to reach every spot on her body and his fingers just passed her nipple. She was most tickled at this spot and asked him to continue touching her there, he complied. “You seem to be most tickled here.” She was almost high on this feeling and her brothers had rolled another joint and were on their way higher, Torres would make sure that Natalie equals them.

The senior Taylor’s were having a ball at their residence while their children were going through a heavy a dose of maturity. The wine was pouring and the room was filled with smoke. It was a big orgy party. They were all high and satisfied. The musicians were playing some classical pieces in the nude. This was easily the biggest party the hosts had ever thrown. Lady Beatle was enjoying it thoroughly while she was satisfying a couple of young boys. These boys were just a few years elder than her own child. The host couple was being pleased by another couple respectively. There were some weird costumes that just didn’t meet the terms of clothing to cover a body. These explicit meetings don’t generally have a long shelf life and considering the weary look of most of the guests, it looked like it would end soon. As a stand alone scene this would be pretty interesting, but compared to what was in occurrence in across the fields it was sheer pale. Also, the re-generation of the Taylor boys that was happening in the midst of these same fields was highly fascinating.

Torres helped Natalie undress and then undid all his clothes. He had learnt the spot earlier in the day and he went for it. He attempted everything with and without the dildo that Mr. Taylor did to Lady Eleanor. He touched and kissed every place on the porcelain body of Natalie. She did the same. They were both tired after a while and confused being bored of the game to their inactivity to go the distance. Of course, they were both too young to climax like their elders and didn’t complete the act. But they had raced to maturity and they would want to do this again and get further. The human instinct made them feel that there is more to this. They wore their clothes again and rested on their respective beds. The distance between their beds in this darkness was getting scary. Natalie brought herself to her feet and released the latch on the door. She put on the dim light and then opened the window, she was amazed by the natural night light on the grass and she called Torres to see the view. He was not that excited but he held her from behind as she looked on to the beauty of nature. “The farms look so pretty Torres, especially when you’re holding me like this. How did you know that I wished to be held right now?” “I didn’t know that you wanted to be held Natalie, I felt like holding you myself and that’s why I did so.” They kept silent and continued looking out of the window.

Mr. Taylor and Mrs. Elizabeth were at their bedroom window that overlooked the same stretch of grass that their little daughter was admiring with her partner. Besides their respective heights, there was no difference in the postures of this couple to that of Natalie and Torres. The senior Taylor’s had just retired from the ball at their residence. Their children had made an early start. The Taylor’s were remembering their innocent children who were across the field. In the rather innocent words of the father, “We have pretty queer habits for our children to ever know, innocent little souls. I wish they always remain young and little so that they never learn of vices like us.”

“This is madness Josh, Daddy has some strange likings”, said Joshua as he admired the left of the joint. The Taylor boys were stung with the intoxication of their second joint. They were sitting in the middle of the farm; they were unaware of fears right now. Their faces looked tired like never before. It was creepily silent but they were reveling in this state of mind. “It’s pretty late you think? I have no idea about how late it can possibly be Brother Ivan.” “I’d rather say it’s pretty early Josh.” Joshua had answers or more questions but was not in the condition to speak for the next couple of minutes. Finally, he said, “Early you mean for dusk, I’m sure brother Ivan. But don’t you feel a mad hunger right now.” “Oh, you stole the words out of my…. Out of…. you stole the words from my mouth Josh. But I’m really considering the way to the house. Don’t you feel it’s so far?” “It’s so amazing how this joint makes us feel and believe in the exact same things brother Ivan, don’t you think?” Ivan rested himself in a sleeping position and just looked at the stars in reply. Joshua joined him in a similar posture. They spoke about two or three random things at the same time and it still made sense to them. Somewhere just a couple of hours away from dusk, they woke up from a slumber they didn’t remember voluntarily getting into. They trudged back to the farm house. They crossed Lady Eleanor’s room and slowly opened the door of their room. Natalie was sleeping like a doll in the middle of the bed and the two brothers flanked her and went off to sleep. Torres was still wide awake behind his shut eyes.

The sun broke in, and the cleaning had begun at the Taylor’s residence. Mrs. Elizabeth was sleeping soundly in her night gown. Mr. Taylor was near the door giving away return gifts to his guests. The return gifts were all in currency for the little children whom they had played ‘fuck’ with last night. The other high profile guests had already left earlier for their respective manors. Mr. Taylor ordered the domestic helps to make sure everything was rearranged back to how the children always see it. He strictly commanded that his children were way too innocent to have the slightest knowledge of the sex and the intoxication that occurred in the past night. Mr. Taylor returned to his room, admired his sleeping wife and slept after pecking her on her forehead. “The mother of my beautiful children”, he said to himself and adjusted himself in the same blanket.

It was 9 ‘o’ clock and the sun was pouring into the children’s room at the farmhouse. The sunlight was especially at strength on Ivan’s face but he was dead asleep. Joshua was not in the room nor was Natalie and Torres. Lady Eleanor was shocked to see Ivan sleeping past eight, this never occurred in the past. She woke him up and he was all shaken and more importantly a brand of sober after the first high. He didn’t see any of his siblings or Torres around, he dragged himself to the hall and Natalie and Torres were feasting on breakfast and happily chatting. Ivan was still not completely awake but was surprised to see the fresh camaraderie of his sister and this family friend. Lady Eleanor put some fresh toasts on the table and she was actually appalled to see Ivan so sleepy. “What happened darling? Are you feeling alright, I’ve never seen you behave like this before? How come you’re at the breakfast table without brushing your teeth?” Ivan was irritated by the constant questioning. He was scratching his disheveled hair and rubbing his nose which itself was not acceptable at the eating table. “Lady Eleanor, I don’t suppose this is some quiz competition.” Natalie, Torres and Lady Eleanor were taken aback by this rude reply. “How dare you speak like that to me Ivan? I’m going to complain to your parents.” Ivan apologized with an excuse that he was feeling miserable and was let off.

Joshua was out in the farm after an early breakfast and was doing the expected, plucking weed. He was collecting it all in a bag when Ivan came out to inform him that they were leaving for home in another twenty minutes. Ivan noticed what Josh was up to and he gave him a thumb up and returned to the house. Natalie and Torres never left each other’s company till the carriage came in. She kissed him goodbye in front of a surprised audience and climbed the carriage. Ivan looked a little surprised and turned to Josh for a reaction but he was busy watching the passing farms.

The carriage entered the gates of their home and the parents were at the door of the house. They joyously welcomed back their children who looked exactly like they were sent. Their clothes didn’t have a speck of dirt nor a crease, their hair combed in the same partitions, their shoes reflecting the sunlight. They were showered with kisses and long hugs. The parents spoke to their children about their first trip without their loving care and Joshua replied, “It was new mommy, the whole experience.” “Yeah, I think you should send us more often mommy”, said Natalie. Mr. and Mrs. Taylor were having a great laugh hearing from their children. The parents enjoyed the fact that the children loved their trip and they enjoyed theirs.

“All evolution in thought and conduct must at first appear as heresy and misconduct.”
~ George Bernard Shaw

 

Charlie and the Horse

Narrative

“When life has left you with no choices, nor chances & whatever is left of your time is just a quotient of how soon will you give up. At this point there are people who are waiting for what they feel is a good time to say goodbye. There are these people and there is Adam. Convicted for rape and imprisoned for 16 years, even his family was not anticipating his return. He has not changed a bit, still has the wry smile upon his face and the spirit of a pony. He is still the man who would not touch a woman without her consent, ironic, isn’t it? But belief is blind and his words of defense were ultrasonic, but he doesn’t care anymore, he is free again. He still has no traces of spite and the first thing he did when the ball and the chain were strapped of his feet, was bowing down in front of the universal father. He thanked him for giving him another day, Carpe Diem. For the last 16 years, Adam had written a question regularly to his sister, Joanne, whom he loved the most in this world but he never got a reply. He found her but she wouldn’t talk to him. Stones don’t talk. He was furious for the first time because he was never told that the girl he raped had passed away three years back. The ecstatic joy of freedom seemed to drain out with the two tears on each side of his face. He could not fathom his existence for that moment, and walls began to enclose him again. But he broke loose to return to the past, to make the present a better future.

This state of Adam was the consequence of a party, his sister Joanne invited him to. Adam was handsome, a phenomenal writer and the talk of town. When Adam entered the party, he found it was just him and her. He wasn’t too surprised and he took it like a time of bonding with Joanne. He didn’t see much of her those days but that night he got to see all that a woman has to offer. Once Joanne got Charlie into the room and introduced him to Adam, he began to loose himself in a room of three. Charlie seemed to be an ageless entity, with the most diabolic smile and magnetic attraction. He wore a white shirt and had a knot around his neck. His eyes were sharp and he could pierce someone with his naked vision. It got really foggy that night. Adam had met Charlie for the first time and he didn’t find him too friendly. Charlie’s queer presence was getting on his nerves; he was stamped all over his vision. Joanne and Charlie got along like a house on desire and she began dancing in the company of this old friend. The music was soothing, some kind of jazz. She blended so well with the music, that she looked like a tune that made it perfect. Adam felt like he was stuck on the chair, mobility was luxury for him as he lay there seeing Joanne and Charlie do a charming jive. He smiled as he saw them bop, and in his deepest thought, he started feeling good about Charlie but maybe just because he was a friend of his beloved sister. Adam could never relate his sister to the slightest vice and had metallic trust in her. Adam had heard things about his sister, which no brother would have believed. They said that she was a bitch, she slept around, had a hundred guys in her pants and she would do anything to be the Numero Uno. There were also famous gossips that she loved Charlie and that they had indulged in physical encounters with even a horse. All of these talks seemed too far-fetched for Adam who had high regard for his sister. As he sat there, watching them jive, all these thoughts flashed before him and when he returned to the room mentally, he looked at his sister with the purest form of love. Almost felt like hugging her to bypass the rush of blood to his aching head but his body had become part of the furniture he was perched on.

As the night got darker, Joanne’s clothes got lighter. Adam had gone too much into some sort of a debut trance that had left him like a ladyfinger on the couch. Charlie had retired to a corner of the room where he sat like a conspirator. Between him and Adam, Joanne danced away into the night. Adam glared into the eyes of Charlie, losing focus of his merry sister. Suddenly, Adam felt a cold body on his. He just about managed to get his semi-nude sister of his body and waited in disgust for this to be a nightmare. She rubbed herself against Adam hard enough to erase a tattoo or a childhood scar, but this was also actually leaving a scar. He was even more in wrath, because Charlie sat there watching and chewing on nothing. Adam could not believe he was unable to stop a lusty vision from reaching his family. Joanne was comfortable. Joanne tried harder to arouse her brother but he resisted basic desire, he was brave. Her lingerie had left her body and Adam’s ire was diminishing with the glimpses he stole of his beautiful sister. He had not seen her in the buff, since their childhood days, she was 23 now. Her bosoms were brimming; she was still pink. Her dirty dancing could not conquer her little brother’s strong conscience that was weakening with his eyesight. But both had perseverance in their blood. All this while Charlie was omnipresent. Joanne was failing and she hated this feeling. Right now, Adam was just another of the opposite sex lying opposite her and she could not bring him to love her. She didn’t know what it was to try hard and in a fit of rage she stormed out of the room, Charlie continued to reside. Her departure came like a relief that was orgasmic to Adam. But he was still reeling over the impression of Charlie, who glared at Adam without a blink. But Adam had worse thoughts to blanket, his vision was fluttering and he had just seen sin in the nude. But even in this spot, he was ready for purgation for a crime he was forced into but Joanne returned and spoilt his plans.

She re-entered the room with a reprisal. Adam strongly believed he was hallucinating because he saw with her, a horse. A horse with one horn that was clutched by Joanne, it was sharp and pointed. Adam would not call it a unicorn because they were symbols of heroism. This horse was dark and obscure. They crossed Charlie, and stood in front of a temporarily handicapped Adam. Two naked animals stood in front of innocence. Such vague was this occurrence that Adam could have laughed it off feeling it was the most abstract figment of his imagination. The horse seemed to be tamed by the temptress and on her command, it made Adam his target. As the edge of its horn found its way into Adam’s wrist, he began to feel the real pain. The pain of physical hurt, the pain of this being reality. He felt like an amateurish matador in front of this raging bull. On her second command, the horse removed his sword from Adam’s flesh. The shiny horn was tinted in blood and Adam was gradually slipping into coma. Joanne whipped the horse and it obediently joined Charlie in the corner. As Adam lay there, paralyzed, Joanne undertook her incestuous mission. The buttons came off Adam’s second skin, he was dragged to the bed and his pants were sensually subtracted. He lay there, void of reflexes. His sight was now fixated on his sister, as if he knew he had lost the courage to fight. She began sucking her fingers and fondling her paraphernalia as she looked at her sibling. She climbed on the bed and towered over him, he lay there watching and feeling every nuance. This collaboration suddenly made Adam feel like a man, a hungry animal and slowly his fingers twitched. Joanne started sucking on his toes; this made Adam find the comfort that comes when you know that the game has been lost. Charlie and the horse remained unattended. Adam found himself slipping out of coma, it was like rebirth and his mouth went straight towards where a newborn gets his nourishment. Both of them were suckers. Frenzy had seeped in the room and life was leaking from them. They twisted and turned but stuck like magnets. 69 positions changed but the desire was unaltered. Joanne clawed blood out of his back, it smelt and tasted like her own, obviously. They finally connected. Adam had succumbed. Joanne was triumphant by habit. He pushed his way into his sister and pulled her hair playfully. Evolution and technology were regressing on this bed. Adam began to go wild as Joanne clutched him, as if they knew this would be the only time, Joanne surely did. Charlie and the horse performed the role of an audience. Joanne got on top of Adam and that was her intention, she always found pleasure in looking down upon rivals. The DNA was exchanged and they both plopped, the intensity of the lip lock that followed never gave Adam the notion that it meant a kiss goodbye. A farewell from society, Joanne had accused her blood tie of love without consent. Joanne didn’t like competition from Adam in words, she hated any popularity that was not her own and surely not if it came from the same household. She was sick of hearing about her brother’s inking prowess and his shadow in which she had forever lived. Joanne wished to come out of this darkness; she had to get rid of him to look eye to eye in the mirror. She had a vague conscience.

The day that dawned was murky like the journey to hell and the coming 16 years, simply hell for Adam. Even though he was raped that night, the society believed a feminine argument and even though rape was common those days; they detested him more because the woman involved was his sister. What more could be explained about a girl who had sinister friends like Charlie and the horse, about a girl who implemented the blot of rape to boost her social standing.

After a decade and 6 years in exile, Adam returned to the site of his social and sexual execution. He saw the bed on which he was raped and that night flashed before his eyes and he could not take that immoral sight. The shock reverted to Adam, Joanne and her queer friends had broken past all his principals on which he had founded a strong character. What occurred was incomprehensible for Adam and after an initial bout with a sickened tribunal to claim innocence, Adam just felt like 16 years would be a good time to erase this harsh memory. Adam still loved his sister. God alone knows the soil he was carved with. He still laid the blame on Charlie and the horse.

He stood in the room where he spent 20 years and missed 16. There were cobwebs and dust, & memories of lust. He shut his eyes and turned away, he tried to find his exit with his eyes closed. He bumped into Joanne’s dressing table and his guts wanted to open the drawer. As the drawer creaked and slid open, he saw them there, traces of Charlie and the horse. Lots of bloodied horns, lots of Charlie’s clothes. He fixedly stared at his nemesis and the anger made his tears ebb. He felt like touching one of the dead horses. The contact sent a ripple in his spine and he began to devastate his residence. He threw the drawer at the mirror and it shattered like his dreams did a few years back. The house looked like it was hit by a hurricane and in the eye of this storm; Adam broke down like a child. For the first time he realized what he had lost - his youth, his respect, his practical ambitions and Joanne, who had answers to all this. Amidst this infiltration, he saw a familiar piece of paper descending from the air. He caught it in mid air and it was the question that he had regularly mailed his sister from prison. For all these years, he never asked her why maybe because he knew the answer to that. The notes always simply asked, “Where did you first meet Charlie and the horse?”

Like a jigsaw puzzle it all came together with the tap on the door, it was like Adam knew that his answers were overdue. Eddie was at the door, his old friend, who slipped away after slipping a letter to Adam trying to make sure no one saw him with Adam. The letter was from Joanne and the date coincided with the one on her epitaph. Life was moving at 200 frames per second at this point. Adam tore the envelope and removed his answers. It said, “ I do not have the words to greet you, nor the patience. Forgive me for this late reply. I had to wait for this day to respond else you would have begun hating someone you had tremendous regard for. Charlie and the horse were heavily conspiring my termination, and I just thought it was apt to surrender to these one-time confidantes. I had to pull time as long as possible but as the years closed in for your return I surely had to leave than face you, and I decided my departure this very day I write this. Charlie and the horse are very much helping me leave this world. They have been loyal friends & mental enemies. I’m finally afraid to say that it was in my blood to do what I forced upon you. Its not in your blood Adam, you’re a perfect gentleman. Daddy confirmed to me that you were adopted before he died last night. You should be glad Adam, because daddy was the man who introduced me to Charlie and the horse and that’s the first time I fell in love with incest. But he stood by me like a true lover for all these years but now the family tree plagued with incest is finally chopped off with my wrists.”

 

4 Days and Doors

Characters
Quasar
Xiya
Mathew – Drug Dealer
Gerrard – Quasar’s freind
Layla – Gerrard’s girlfriend
Quasar’s father
Uncle Trent – Quasar’s employer and Gerrard’s uncle
Rahila – Quasar’s childhood friend

This sinking feeling is literally blue and watery. The water is freezing but comparatively far warmer than the world above it. I don’t know why I’m seeing flashes underwater. I’ve never had much to say in my life but the last few days, I’d like to remind myself of, one last time.

I was named Quasar by the poorest pair I ever met in the slums I was born in. There was something wrong about them. I always had the fetish for international channels and I somehow never realized the acute poverty I grew up in. My father used to smoke these foiled things, I would wonder where he would get the money to burn silver. My mother had another family. They lived on the third floor of a building and they had a television. She would take me to this house very often and I used to love watching the television. Rahila was my best friend in this house; we loved each other, literally. She loved saying “How much do you love me?” Then she died. I never felt that ilk of love again until eleven years later, when I met Xiya. I was twenty and three then and that’s my age even today. I met her four days back at a coffee shop where I waited. I had waited for eleven years for this, to be in love again. I was made to stand and open the door for the customers, which was not quite in my job profile. I was sick of opening doors and letting people in while I remained outside. I was not in my uniform when she entered our shop that evening when I was about to resume my routine of smoking some crack with Gerrard. He never asked me to pay for it.

She dropped her little cute purse while she was in the middle of some disturbing conversation on her mobile phone. She didn’t bother picking it, till she would finish the other activity on hand. She was too rich for me but then she made me feel love at this primary sight, she was angry at the moment and I was flattered to simply see her. Thoughts flew in, out, back in, should I dare to pick her purse, what’s the big point, what will I get out of this deed, but what would I lose? I swooped and got the purse, and I explored her toe to head while getting my head back up. I reached her eyes; hers were waiting at the top position for the congruence of vision. She was more beautiful then the girls on TV. She stared into my eyes and I was arrested for moments, she continued talking on the phone while she shadily looked at me. Her tempo of words had slowed down, her tone lost volume and she disconnected herself from the other voice. “Thanks dear”, she said, ‘coffee’, I don’t know how this word came crashing out, “Black tea, dear”, she replied and we were at the table. I never had a reason to lie in my life before, so I used my entire share in this one opportunity I was bestowed with. I swear it was all reflexive, each syllable. Like a dream, it all worked out and we met again the next day at Gerrards’, he was out with Layla. I never knew Layla well enough; we knew each other by face, so to say. Now, about Xiya, it was just me, her and my white lies. She was the type who would find comfort in a strange house. She randomly opened the drawer next to the bed to find a lighter and she found a baggy there. “Hey cool, you got stuff”, she said with the same comfort with which she opened the baggy and then jabbed herself. I had been casually telling her that I prefer heroin and this was serendipity. She was in control of herself after the injection but it was my debut and I was coiling in the high. I got some water from the fridge downstairs while thinking of Gerrard. In this state of consciousness, I was fighting to keep my conscious open. I had begun to need this girl already. It was time for Gerrard to be back and I was still wondering how to convey my misuse of his drugs in his house. The park was still open; we entered and found a bench facing the sea. I wasn’t expecting a kiss, and for the first moment it made me feel poor again. But I had to respond and the first touch of her tongue on mine and I was willing to do anything to be with her, for one more rendezvous, and then one more. We spoke about a lot of things. She loved the beach and water and she said that I’d find her on a beach if I ever went missing. “Come to the beach down the left if I ever go missing, I’ll be waiting for you.” I decided to face Gerrard after the confidence she gave me. Gerrard was fine about it or maybe he was too high. He told me to find his scooter keys; I remembered seeing them next to the empty baggy. He left without asking me to. I invited her. The door opened and Xiya came in. I was having sex after eleven years. She left with the hope that I was going to get her blow when I woke up next. I didn’t have any money for it but everything was just with me for the last two days. I never wanted to lose Xiya. I looked out of the window, and I saw her leaving the apartment. I slipped on a shirt and I ran into the night. I wanted cocaine. I didn’t know where I was going, I was just running. I stopped, ran into the cemetery and started screaming in joy. I reached Rahila’s epitaph and embraced it. I kissed it. She was back in the form of Xiya. The love I felt was precisely the same. I cried. It was hours past midnight and my employer couldn’t see this plight at his door. In annoyance, he brought me the money I apparently required to save my dead father’s life. He slammed the door at my face and I cried again. The tears rolled down Rahila’s epitaph. I kissed her name once again and left the cemetery the second time with the acquired confidence in my monetary acquisition. I waited for morning at Gerrard’s window. Someone was knocking at the door. I woke up. It was two past noon. Layla was at the door. Gerrard was still not in. She took ‘Nietchze’ and left and on being asked she said that she would not return till late evening to see if Gerrard’s back. I had good time. I shut the door, kicked open the bathroom door, the bath was refreshing. I picked up Xiya at the market after I scored three grams from Mathew. I had always just heard about Mathew but this was the first time I met him. Xiya was looking gorgeous. I couldn’t wait to see both of us nude in Gerrard’s mirror again. It gave me a very different and personal poise. I opened the strings, she lined herself up. She inhaled the price, I got my worth. I hit another line. It was done. I had her in my arms, she was innocently sleeping. My dreams had come true. I don’t remember when I fell asleep. Someone was at the door, I woke up and I saw Layla lying next to me. It was a dream. I woke up again. This time I was alone on the bed. The knocking continued on the door. The dream was still fresh; I got to the door and opened it. I asked whether Mathew was in. He opened the security chains and let me into his house. He returned from the other room and threw a pouch at me. Xiya missed it and it fell on the bed. I pounced on the pouch and we playfully fought for it. She ripped it open with her teeth while she naughtily stared at me. The love bites had become wounds over just two days. We got in again, high on confidence. Getting inside each other had become a necessity; I hope she felt the same. The door was just fucking with my head. Another session was over I realized when I woke up to the throbbing of the door. Once again, Xiya was missing on the bed and this time there was someone in the bathroom banging on the door. Another freaky dream? I opened the bathroom door and the shock almost killed me. My heart was refusing to behave in normalcy. Xiya’s wrists were hanging of their attachments. Her face was cold with no expression and she continued banging the door with one hand. I could see everything just drain away once again. My obsession with loving someone and Xiya’s blood, it was all draining down. I ran to the bed and tried to confirm it was a nightmare. It was. Some motherfucker was at the door again. I couldn’t distinguish between reality and dreams by now. I woke up in irritation to stop the knock-pause-knock sounds at the door. It was Gerrard this time. Before I could let him in, I flashed my sight behind to see whether Xiya was still in bed. I wouldn’t share her beauty with even the owner of the house who had been absconding since two days now. Xiya was not around, she had left again. Gerrard entered, he looked at me with anger. Layla followed him inside and she gave me a similar look. I was still buzzing. Both looked like they had been in some extreme trauma with that disturbed look on their faces and the running noses. Gerrard sat down with his face between his palms and Layla spread herself on half the bed. I felt like a stranger in the house, I just stood there with my back to the door looking at these two disturbed entities. They were disturbing my content mindset. The door, the motherfucking son of a wooden whore, made noises again. I turned around and opened it. I asked for Mathew, shamelessly. I was made to enter the room with Mathew sitting on the couch bang opposite the door. He looked at me with pure animosity. I slowly walked up to him. He didn’t take his eyes off me. There were a couple of pouches on the table. I reached for one of them but Mathew was not allowing me today. I removed a wad of cash and put it on the table. There was enough money on his table for him to let go of my hand and let me have one more pouch. I reached Gerrards’ and Layla opened the door. I looked at her once and withdrew my sight. Gerrard ripped open the baggy and made four lines on the table, which of course I found unfair between three of us. Xiya surprisingly entered from the other room and joined us at the table. I just watched her come, snort and return to that room. I could not understand the happenings today. I hit one line and passed the bill to Layla. I entered the other room where Xiya was sitting with her palms open facing the ceiling. I got on the bed and undressed her and she just looked at me in inactivity while I fucked her. Why couldn’t I fall into sleep this time? Why was Xiya irresponsive today?

Gerrard asked me while taking a path I quite remembered treading in the recent past. The cemetery went by and we stopped in front of the house of my employer who was probably looking for me. I wouldn’t dare move closer in that proximity, Gerrard was never forceful about anything. He went inside alone while I nervously looked around. I walked to the fields parallel to the house to relieve myself. Gerrard came out of the house; I zipped up and jogged to him. He didn’t stop walking at normal pace, had he gone deaf? It became quite a routine for the next few yards and I walked behind him in silence back to thinking about my Xiya. She was everything I ever wanted; I swear I didn’t want to be anyone else for the first time. “GO IN TO THAT GOD DAMNED HOUSE”, Gerrard broke me into a sweat by suddenly turning around and breaking my beautiful thoughts with this ugly scream. He was loud enough to be authoritative. I gaped at him with fear; my eyes were falling out with the scare. I turned around and started walking towards where his finger pointed. His face was wrinkled with anger and it sure subdued the fear of meeting my employer whom I owed nine days of work. I reached the door and opened it with two fears merging in the center of my head. Migraines almost. There was a mirror through which I could faintly see my figure at the door. With tears of fear and a choking throat I entered. The house was scary because of the feeling in my head. Dimly lit by the natural light. I didn’t even know what Gerrard wanted me to explore here. I didn’t have the heart to go back and see that wrinkled face again. I walked inside, getting a little comfortable, just a tad. I saw stairs, like the ones at Gerrards. I decided to go up, there was some sort of vertical gravity in this house. It kept pushing me further inside. Another door, I opened it and I realized the sure exterior force maneuvering me in this house. I was tired and one sudden moment made me feel like I was all right. I went to the window to see Gerrard and he was standing there in that same position, his finger directing towards the house I looked at him from. The fear had all vanished and I was feeling normal. I returned to the door I got inside this room from. I had not found what Gerrard had not even told me to find. I walked down the stairs and there was that impending feeling again. My brain was throbbing and there it was I flashed back upwards. Someone was knocking at the door upstairs. I didn’t have any solutions to this trauma that I was feeling. I walked up and opened the door and there she was. I had felt that impending feeling. Xiya in white, stained with blood. I shut the door and the tears came down. Convulsions and complications were taking me captive. I screamed in reflex and opened the door again, it was Mathew this time. He sat there with his baggies looking at me with his brand of animosity. I shut the door again and waited for it to be knocked at again. I opened it on my own and walked back out on the road again. Gerrard was standing twenty yards away. I didn’t care. I walked closer to him. “GO IN TO THAT GOD DAMNED HOUSE” He yelled again, the same lines; he had no other language now. Ignorance is the cure to fear. Why was I suddenly losing my contentment? I wanted to meet Xiya again to feel the life running inside of me. I realized she was the catalyst that made me willingly feel like living. But where would I get the currency to play her game again. I had just left Gerrard behind and Mathew had shifted base to the house of my employer. I just closed the door on him. My pace slowed down and I started thinking of the people I needed to be with Xiya again. I had to return. I turned around and Gerrard was not there anymore. I hated the idea of doors by now, I just wished everything was open, but then people like me had nothing to treasure behind closed doors, others did. The door was ajar; I entered what was my employer’s house till just Saturday. Thankfully, it didn’t look any different on the third coming. I walked up those stairs again to find Mathew and hopefully Gerrard. I opened the door and not surprisingly there was nobody this time. I closed the door and walked down the stairs sluggishly, and there was the knocking at the door. I had found the key.
I opened the knocking door. It was my employer on the other side; I simply closed it and waited for the knocking again. It knocked again; I pushed the knob the right way. Mathew was sitting there with the baggies, I entered. Without a word from his mouth he asked me where the price was. I replied back in his language that it will be due. “I only give credit to non-addicts.” I nodded in affirmation and left the door. I knocked on the door and Layla opened it. I took her hand and got her on my side and shut the door again. She asked me what was happening and I just replied back with a finger on my lip. After a brief pause, I told her that Gerrard has asked her to wait at Mathews. I knew what was happening. I knocked on the door this time, Mathew’s man opened it and I entered with Layla. She stood in a corner and I walked up to Mathew, picked up a baggy and he stopped me, I knew what was happening. Mathew was a twisted man of few words. I reached his ears and threw some words in it “Gerrard will come and get this, he owes me, that’s his girl, he will come.” He let go off his hand and I walked towards the door, threw my last sight at Layla and walked out. I walked down the stairs again and there was someone at the door banging again. I ignored it this time and walked out of the house. I reached Gerrards’ and walked in the house. He was perched at the window like a bird wanting to fly. We had a little talk. We spoke about a couple of things. He asked me why I would not go to my job anymore and he revealed that he had asked his uncle Trent to give me that job and his uncle was mad at him because I took the money from him that night and never returned to the job. Two; we discussed the whereabouts of Layla and he told me that it had become quite a battle to have her everyday. We had similar stories. He left. Xiya came in. The cocaine was consumed. We had sex. The confidence was back. We slept. I woke up and went to the door and waited for someone to knock on it. I waited till the end of my smile. I opened the bathroom door and I saw myself with a syringe stuck in the nerve just above my palm. I smirked and shut the door. I walked back to bed and saw my sweetheart sleeping with a smile. I kissed her on her forehead and I knew what it felt like to see my victory, my daily bread and butter in front of my eyes, sleeping in peace. It was hard to be poor and virtuous at the same time. I had to feed myself. It was nearing morning and with everyday I noticed that Xiya stayed longer. It has been four days since I know her now. I fell asleep next to her in admiration of my hard work and determination. But you know sometimes, it just doesn’t pay off. What had gone wrong with Gerrard and Layla? Wasn’t he working hard enough? How could an outsider like me break his routine with such ease? I was thinking about all this at my conscious-sub conscious summit.

“QUASAR, QUASAR”, yelled a slow voice that woke me up. I turned around to see Xiya was missing. The chilling voices bounced of the walls and started physically affecting me. No one ever called my name like that; no one ever needed me so much. I was taking it lightly yet. I got up and braved the sound waves and walked to throw some water on my face. I was jolted again in the bathroom, the nerve on my head popped out and each hair on my body stood in attention. Xiya was lying in the bathroom. No one could possibly be more inactive than this and yet yell a name with this thundering volume. She didn’t even look at me, her neck was crooked and her eyes were stuck looking at the ceiling. But she didn’t stop yelling. I bit my lip and it bled. She didn’t have any traces of blood on her body. My silence was loud. With huge breaths I approached her and she could smell me now. Her neck was still crooked; she roved her eyes to my direction. “You have two options dear, heroin or my loss.” She had defined the moment. She was serious. Amid anger, fear, and sadness I rose up, I swear my limbs have a mind of their own. Like a zombie I walked toward the door, no one knocking, I turned around, no knocking yet. I turned around and opened it, Mathew’s man told me he has shifted base. In the distance, I saw the place where I could find a solution. I entered the front door. My employer, Trent sat there and he didn’t tell me a thing as I passed by him. He saw the doom on my face and thought that he should not even express an old debt in this case. I walked up the stairs and at the back of my head I could see, Trent turning into my father smoking silver. I battled the feeling to see my long gone father and walked upstairs. I banged at the door with my right feet at least seven times and though I had the key I didn’t have the patience to make those steps down because of Trent or my father. The door opened, I saw Xiya there in the same condition. I shut my eyes and banged the door close in implosive wrath. I walked down two stairs but no one would knock on the door. I stopped. I turned around and banged the door with my body at least four times. Trent opened the door. “I don’t have any money now, Gerrard took it all.” Quietly I pulled the door shut again. It didn’t completely close; I thought I had another chance. I slid it open and it was Trent again. “I don’t have any money now, Gerrard took it all.” I remained numb and didn’t even let him hear my breathing and I shut the door. His fingers were caught in the door and the spray of blood colored my face. I swiped both off and they fell to the floor. I still had some reserve patience. My heart was losing beats behind another wooden door; it had a syringe in it. It gave me the courage to wait once more in my life till the right customer came. To open yet another door and let the right customer come out. No knocking through a moment of thousand thoughts, I banged it with my head and saw another shade on the floor. It was almost the same. Trent again. “I don’t have any money now, Gerrard took it all.” I just managed to look at his fingers, there were ten of them. I looked on the ground and there were none. He slammed the door. I felt the blood trickle down; I said a very short prayer and went for it again with my head. Only, my head made a louder noise. The door flung open, and in the moment it hit the wall on the other side and shut back, I saw Layla and Gerrard on the bed. For that one moment it reminded me what I was missing and would forever if I didn’t get through to Mathew. I hit the head on the nail this time. I never thought Mathew would come to the door himself. In our golden language, I asked for a baggy. He asked me to wait. He had Gerrard and Layla instead of the baggy with him. I knew what a murderer goes through before he destructs a life beyond repair for the first time. He pushed out the couple on my side. I began to understand the genius of Gerrard now. He quite was where he should be at the right time. He always needed Layla, didn’t he? It made me think whether anybody is a real addict. Drugs without a reason make addicts, right? Gerarrd and I had one reason in two physical forms. Mathew was well just a peddler. He never seemed high. Why was I thinking about all this when I had to find a breakthrough? Maybe this is where the answers were. I was standing with a couple whom I had made it rather difficult for. They stood around me for a while and then walked down the stairs towards their freedom, also known as the outside door. I had to get out that door again. I heard Gerrard saying “Bye Uncle Trent” followed by the thud of the outside door. It reminded me that Xiya was still at Gerrards’. I banged my head at least six times in four seconds. Uncle Trent had found his way back once inside once more. “I don’t have any money now, Gerrard took it all.” I didn’t have any words left to discuss in my blasted head. I didn’t wait for him to shut it on me this time. I barged inside. No Mathew here. Uncle Trent left the room. I heard a matchstick light up on the right, behind my vision. I miserly turned my aching face towards that direction and I saw my father again, burning silver. I left the room and didn’t bother to shut the door. I had the feeling, Xiya was dead by now. Also, I didn’t wish to hear anymore banging on doors. I walked down. I walked down like a zombie and passed Uncle Trent. I reached the outside door and as I was about to open it, unsuspectingly someone knocked on it. Nothing meant anything for me right now except for I wanted to see Xiya, dead or alive. My expressions were extinct. I opened the door to get outside. Uncle Trent was now on the other side. “I don’t have any money now, Gerrard took it all.” He shut the door on my face and the wind revved up the pain in my head. I reached for the knob again and unlocked it open. This time it showed me Gerrards’ bathroom. I entered. I didn’t have any hope. I splashed some water on my face and opened the bathroom door to see what’s next. I was back at Gerrards’. I pushed myself outside into this playground of memories- Xiya removing the heroin packet, the first time she came home. Now, Xiya lay behind the bed; her neck was back in position. I couldn’t stop the tears, I hugged her and she whispered “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” As I got up, I could see through the window. Gerrard and Layla were coming home. They were the happiest I ever saw anyone. I didn’t have a choice; I picked up Xiya in my hands, she had begun to crawl to the other room. The syringe was still at her palm. I was getting more handicapped by the moment. Now, I could only use my legs. I got to the enemy and opened it. Uncle Trent again. “I don’t have any money now, Gerrard took it all.” For a second I imagined killing him. I was carrying my life in my hands and he had just overdosed today. I kicked the door shut. “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” I didn’t have a reply. I opened the door. Gerrard and Layla came in. “GO IN TO THAT GOD DAMNED HOUSE” Gerrard yelled. “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” I gave more attention to Xiya and tried to get out again. She was looping now. She didn’t stop saying “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” I was back on the road. She didn’t stop. My expressions were dead again. I walked through a peculiar road and passed the cemetery. “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” I saw my father smoking silver outside the cemetery. I entered the cemetery and reached Rahila’s epitaph. She was sitting on her stone. The emotions rushed back to my head, I couldn’t stop crying suddenly. Rahila was in front of me and Xiya was in my hands. “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” I looked at Xiya when she said this again and just turned away from Rahila. “How much do you love me?” I had to turn around once to see Rahila say that again. I missed it for eleven years. As soon as I turned around, “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” How did I get so far? I never knew this level of patience. I began to walk out again. “How much do you love me?” “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” I reached the cemetery gates. I saw my father’s back and emerging smoke. He turned around and it was Uncle Trent in my father’s clothes, who was now afraid of me. He got up and yelled “I don’t have any money now, Gerrard took it all.” He started scampering while he continued saying this. “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” I wished for a moment of silence. I put Xiya down and kept her at a seated position. “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” I ignored her and walked into a small green patch on the opposite road to just hear silence. I sat down on my toes, and I tried to hold my ears with my palms but my face stung of trauma. It was swollen with the voices in it. I caught the pain between my two palms and water came gushing out of my eyes. Now, there was silence. I sat there with my eyes shut for at least two minutes. I swear, even the bees were quite. “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” She scared me. It was jolting. She had crawled to me from the other side of the road. “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” The scream was stuck in my throat. I calmed myself down and picked her up again. This time I carried her with her head at my back and I held her legs with my hands. She kept poking the syringe in my back lightly and saying “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” My employer’s house was in front of me again. This time I didn’t use the front door. I went behind and slid Xiya through the window. I pushed her on the floor and entered myself. “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” I had my finger on my lip. I left her there in the kitchen and got to the door upstairs. I knocked on it with my fingers, three times at least. “I don’t have any money now, Gerrard took it all.” I closed the door. “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” She had crawled up the stairs. I regained some calm and knocked politely again. Gerrard and Layla were at the bed again. The scream finally found its way out of my throat and it accelerated the pain manifolds. Mathew was finally there at the door. He gave me a baggy and was about to shut the door, but I kicked it open. “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” I didn’t believe I heard it this time and I entered inside. Mathew was back on his seat, in his own trip. I dragged Xiya in. “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” I put her finger on her lip. I walked to Mathew and he looked at me as if the deal was done. I made it clear that now the deal will be done only when I will never have to go through such ordeals again. He actually spoke. “You only think I’m the hen who lays golden eggs, maybe I actually am.” “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” To him I spoke, “You have been generous at times Mathew.” “You have to murder the thought of me to realize whether I’m the hen who lays golden eggs. There are simply two ways you can acquire this woman, give her what she desires or kill the desire.” “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” This statement echoed at regular intervals in the background. Talking felt like some comfort, I realized that I had never spoken to Xiya after the first time we kissed. I had followed a routine every single day since then. Did I just need her physical form? If that is the case, I could do with any other feminine form. “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” I turned away from Mathew towards Xiya and sat down next to her. I wish this worked. “Xiya, I miss talking to you.” Mathew had walked past us and out the door but I didn’t stop him. “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” “Xiya, I have not touched your lips with mine as an independent action since our second evening.” “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” She didn’t even look at me while I made conversation or the attempt of it. “Xiya, I’m the son of an addict.” “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” The emotions were all reprising, my nose had started running. I finally felt the pain she must have felt when I never spoke to her all these days. “Xiya, I’m sorry I never loved you for who you are. You were always a substitute for Rahila. Not anymore. I love you sweetheart” “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” She had started moving her eyes towards mine, mine were bleeding with tears. “Xiya, you loved me conditionally but I made you like that.” “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” “Xiya, I’ve lost my innocence, I put Gerrard through hard times, Uncle Trent, Layla, and I’ve been extremely selfish. But I’ve been selfish for you. My dream which I distorted after it became a reality. Forgive me Xiya.” I kissed her on her forehead. “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” I didn’t know there were two speeds of crying. I could see through her eyes, the tears making their way. She was looking in my eyes now and had started making impressions on my face with her fingers. I was sobbing like a new born does for the first time. “Xiya, I’ve destroyed you with my obsession for you. Won’t you be divine enough to come back to my life?” “Where is the heroin dear, do you wish I die?” “Xiya, stop saying that. I can’t give you what will deteriorate you further. You give me life, you make me live, if you die, I will lose my wealth a second time. I’m sorry for putting you in this condition to keep you with me. I’ve been selfish. I’ve treated you like a prostitute.” She took a long breath and closed her eyes. I could feel a second coming of life in her. She didn’t open her eyes when she finally said something new. “Leave me alone for a moment, and I will be with you forever.” I felt ecstasy to hear her again. I didn’t waste anytime. I left her on the floor and began to walk outside. I reached the door and stopped and realized what I’ve been asked to risk. Leave Xiya behind a closed door again. I had confidence in my revival of character. I opened the door slowly and looked through the slit, no Mathew there, no Uncle Trent. I made enough space for me to pass outside. I shut the door and waited. I touched my face, I was feeling alive again. Or maybe I was just sober again. I walked down the stairs, there was no one around. I walked to the front door and opened it, no hassles yet. I got outside and lit a cigarette. I finished half the cigarette and went back inside, calmly opening and closing doors ahead and behind me. I reached upstairs and opened the door. Empty. I didn’t waste anytime. I rushed out of the house and ran out on the road, I passed the cemetery and reached Mathew’s old hole. I knocked on the door. I was let in, Mathew was at his throne. “I was not expecting you.” “Thanks Mathew.” I rushed outside while he broke into a smile. I stopped at Gerrards’. I didn’t feel a nerve when I knocked on the door, but my depths must be lying when I say this. I feared Uncle Trent, amongst others. Layla came to the door. “How are you doing Layla?” She smiled and opened the door wider. Gerrard was at the coke table albeit with a pack of cards. I walked up to him and he did have a little animosity in those eyes. No under eye circles, his brow saans a single wrinkle. “I’m sorry Gerrard.” I turned around and walked to the door. “Hope it goes alright with you”, he said. I nodded my head without looking at him. Layla gave me his scooter keys and shut the door. There was nothing but a distant dot on the beach. I closed in, I was happy to have a vehicle. As I neared, my fears dissolved. It was Xiya, her hair blowing in the wind from the sea. I took it slow, it was the highest pleasure to see her in flesh and blood again and she looked more alive than ever. I felt more blood than the sea in my veins gushing in all directions. She was looking at me coming in. I reached her and she didn’t move one bit from her position. I got the closest I could to her and looked in her eyes for what seemed an eternity. “Xiya….” She simply replied with a smile and hugged me. I had never seen her so happy. “You made it on time sweetheart; I was just about to leave.” I had my eyes closed while I held her. “Where were you going to go?” We spoke with our faces looking at opposite directions while in this timeless embrace. I didn’t want to end this embrace. “Mathew is coming to take me.” The thoughts were all back, full throttle. Was she going with Mathew because he was the dealer? Because he would never fall short of her requirements? “Don’t think so much, Quasar.” I separated from her and looked at those eyes again with an acute fear in mine. “Remember when I first met you and I was having this duel with someone?” “Yes, I remember everything Xiya.” “It was Mathew on the other end, his business is failing, and everyone is losing faith in him. He needs more clients, I help him sell.” Do I need to explain the devastation? My eyes didn’t bother to blink and what was ecstasy anymore? I took a step backward and the shifted angle made me see Mathew walking in from behind her. “What happened heart?” The loud silence was back with me, the screams were all unreleased and it was breaking my insides like glass. Mathew was with us now, he asked her while he looked at me with a subtle smile. “Are we done here?” She didn’t look at him and she had grown a little tense on my reaction. She took a step closer to me and equaled the distance I had lost with my backward step. “We could have carried on you know, but I wanted to open the doors for you. It’s not easy to understand the way of the world sweetheart. Don’t worry when you see Gerrard and Layla together, I know how you felt every time you saw them and you didn’t have me on your side….” I stood there registering everything in my sub conscious but paying attention only to her eyes. “….It’s a dirty game Mathew plays with people but not for him I would have never sat at the table with you. So, should we say it’s only fair that he is taking away what he gave you?” Mathew was looking at the sea, his face was adjacent to us and he didn’t really care that he was the subject matter of our talk. I was still and still naturally reticent. I still didn’t want to walk away; she had dropped the clue that I would never see her again. I was trying to get myself to simply regain the feeling of love by acting deaf, it didn’t quite work. I was appalled. She started on the old tangent again but this time she only said, “The doors are all open now, behind each door will only be what is supposed to be.” The dark angel walked away with Mathew, not hand in hand. I was at the edge of this feeling’s sinking in. I turned around and I could see them walking that way now. I turned the other way, now Mathew and Xiya were on this side. The distance from where they started was always the same, just a few yards. I turned around eight times at least and they were everywhere I looked, back facing me, walking away. I turned 90 degrees and there was a door there, just ahead of the walls separating this beach and a town full of memories. She had lied again? I wanted to know. I walked to the door and someone knocked on it. I opened the door; it was Mathew, “Your welcome son.” I slammed the door on Xiya’s last lie. The wrath was coming back. On both the ends of the beach I could see Mathew and Xiya still walking away, she didn’t even turn back once to see me. I turned 90 degrees and it was the door which I didn’t want to open. There was only one direction left. I walked into the sea and became a dot.