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As men do very often, we stand at the edge of a precipice. And as men who find themselves here are always left to ponder so are we, fated to take flight and soar or spiral in unfound glory into the bottomless ravine. Of course it is between these two extremes that many men may find themselves balancing and gliding but as we ponder, I have taken the ungracious liberty to pen my thoughts and impose them on paper to an audience that may be willing to share the explorations of my mind.

One of the most essential questions that I have found myself craving to quench is that of finding the purpose. What is the purpose of this all? An odd 7 billion people on what we call earth in complexities and diversities that we may never begin to fathom, all in pursuit and not a singular purpose to unite them all. Think about it for a second. Some may say that we look for luxury, and riches and success (of course in this we forget that success is merely the achievement of that which one sets out to conquer irrespective of the purpose itself) or happiness fulfilment and contentment, or perhaps another may state knowledge, spiritual rest and a higher state of being. These are merely the most apparent and widely used choices that appear.

In all these ponderings, though unexpected, I have actually found answers to my questions. Of course which may be perfectly subjective to me and I condemn imposing on anyone else but bear my entire conviction in. to expound this answer I would like to take us back to the known or believed origin of mankind.

The most fundamental trait of existence in nature is that of exploration and development that Darwin also formulated in his theory of the survival of the fittest. In context to the human race this has manifested itself most evidently in the technology and the development of human society. It is this one man up ship that has been source and reason in the evolution of man and a number of the elements that form human life today. For example it is this spirit pursuit of the unknown and discovery that gave us the wheel, fire, civilization and all that has followed. But in our reflection do ever stop to consider the original pursuit of this all? Did this all begin with the desire for mere survival? But does the development of our intellectual framework not challenge us with greater needs for fulfilment? So when did we turn from existence to fulfilment? This may seem as drifting from our original line of thought but consider this, what is fulfilment? The state of completion and contentedness, perhaps in the larger sense, the position one reaches at the quench of need or desire? Therefore if survival where the purpose of pursuits then fulfilment was found in survival. I.e. in the Stone Age, the statement of purpose could be survival, and for this fulfilment he found all needs met in the bounty of nature. Here, I believe lies the revelation. Nature’s bounty. I believe I am getting ahead of myself here. Let me just state it clearly and plainly.

Along with the development of the intellectual composure, man has acquired another fundamental trait that now stands equal or perhaps stronger than pursuit of knowledge and exploration; that of competition. We breed a race of humans that is set not by but against each other. Beginning from a hospital bed at birth to a burial space at death we are competing. In this race, we have forgotten what we are running for. Where is mans sight on the long term objective? Since when did life become about the means and not the end. The process has become the destination; we have created multiple systems of vicious cycles to ensure that we are lodged in perpetuation of an infinite pursuit, a pursuit that has long forgone the end. These ensure that we may never reach an end god forbid we are happy or fulfilled! People lead their lives in systems and procedures predetermined and now mankind has begun to stop questioning, stop thinking, let alone heed the call that is due to their design and not one that a system, organization, society or religion dictates. For if we did perhaps someone would find all they desired right here, right now.

When was the last time we stopped to watch the rain drop indent the soil and inhale the fragrance of fresh wet mud? When did we last stop to count the colours in the first spring flower? When was the last time we revelled in the absolute relish of a shit well taken? Our grandparents grew up getting oxygen under trees when they needed it and our kids will grow up buying it bottles to breathe. Is this the plentiful fruit of man’s ‘development’? What happened to happiness?

Here it is that I must take us back to where we paused; perhaps the Stone Age man would tell us that since the origin of nature every being and species has found natures benevolence far exceeding their necessity. We must stop using our minds in pedantic selfish ignorance and begin to utilize their forces to fuse the resources in a common collective bliss.

Have I exceeded myself and the question of whether to study films or management? I think I just may have.

12:16 am, 5th April 2007